This post would usually focus on a person I have chosen to feature because of their brand and/or event, but God has placed on my spirit to speak about myself this time around; something I usually don’t do out of fear. Fear of rejection or being judged.
3 years ago, I created this blog with a mission to showcase creative dream chasers such as myself– people that had or still have a dream they need to make a reality, and are working vigorously to reach that goal.
Over the years, there have been many things that have kept me away from achieving my dreams. Initially, it was me being overly concerned about pleasing my parents with my career of choice, then it was me intentionally putting my dreams of being a Broadway star aside to work in the lucrative sales industry. Aside from me being a doctor or a lawyer, this would be minimally approved in the eyes of my parents, because over time, I have proved to them that sales is a career that will keep me financially stable.
My parents, who are Haitian immigrants, has a goal similar to most immigrants, and that is for their children to never endure what they did to make it to and in the United States of America. Their children choosing a career in medicine or law pairs with that goal, because in their minds, that means they too have succeeded because their offspring is financially free– something they did not feel they were while growing up, migrating to U.S.A, and even while trying to survive in a new country.
While succeeding in the sales industry, I have tricked my mind to believe that this was my forever career and so I pushed my dreams aside to help fulfill the dreams of the CEO’s I was slaving for. After I turned 30yrs old, it began to hit me that I swept my dreams under the rug for others, and so I needed a creative outlet to prove to myself that ‘I still got it.’ While I pondered upon what that would be, I still remained faithful to my sales career and the beautiful commission checks that came along with it.
Over the past 15 years, I have worked as a Sales Rep for Enterprise Rent-a-Car, a Sales Consultant for Verizon Wireless, an Account Executive for Yelp, and as a Junior Account Manger for a private SaaS PR Software company, Sawhorse Media. After being recently laid off from the most recent company in April 2019, I realized that it was #1, a blessing in disguise, and #2, it was finally my time to pour into myself and the dreams I have pushed aside for such a long time. Due to my natural hustler spirit, I will never be down for too long. Therefore, I took on a part time position as a Sales Consultant (because let’s face it, as a first time entrepreneur, you do not make money right away), and in addition to that, I am investing sweat equity into this blog & my events company, Dream in Color Events, full time.
Since all of this has taken place, each day I walk with a sense of gratitude for the opportunity I have been blessed with to work for myself; I have been praying for this freedom for so long! Now I have the time to invest in my brand, my creativity, and passions with no excuses, and so far, my time as an entrepreneur has been rewarding. I have a web designer working on my new website & logo, I am pitching myself to influencers/brands as a contributing writer or ghostwriter, hosting events, and doing research for new blog posts. Throughout this new daily process, my dreams or thoughts of my future continue to brew inside of me more than ever before. I know more of me is required. I am not sure in what capacity, but there is more to do, and more for me to give, and it’s time for me to walk in that purpose.
I release my creativity by writing for not only my personal blog, but also as a contributing writer for Sistas in Sales (SIS), sporadically host events throughout New York, & partner with other brand for events as well. All of these activities keep me productive, but not all fuels my spirit. My writing gives me life — it literally gives me a creative outlet. However, I am a person that prides myself on living a purpose-filled and driven life, & I know I must fulfill the desires and dreams that still live within my heart to be of service to others in a more profound way. I believe this will manifest very soon.
To begin the recalibration process in my life, earlier this year I decided to press a restart button. I did this by first changing my scenery– I moved back to my home state of New Jersey from living in New York for the past 3 years. While being back in my hometown, I have been forced to pay attention to myself more than I ever have before, and this is bit of a scary process for me. I have forced myself to put on new lenses so I can view different aspects of me that allows major personal introspection to take place.
I have prayed about this but I know more prayer and action is needed for me to tackle this new journey accurately. Nothing can be done perfectly, so in order for me to reap the full benefits of this journey, I must plant the proper seeds so I can have something amazing bloom in my life.
What I hope to have bloom are the pieces of Myrna I have buried for so long. The parts of me that used to be extremely confident, but have lost its confidence due to being too concerned about what other people think. I hope for my vigor to return so I can pour into my nurturing side & my God-given talents of creativity, more aggressively. I hope by sharing my current story, it may actually encourage someone to do something they are scared to do, but know they must accomplish so they too can have something that is very priceless– peace of mind with their soul.
I want to walk in my truth more than ever before. Even now as I am writing this, I still cannot share what those truths are, but through therapy and self-love activities assigned, I know I will get there sooner than later. I encourage you all, to take the time needed to realign and recalibrate the portions of your life you feel are off course. Challenge yourself to live the life you have always dreamed of. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you for it later.
XO, Myrna